THE CHANGING FAMILIES PROJECT
INFORMATION FOR ADULTS
The aims of the project are:
  • Promote a positive attitude to life

  • To help youngsters understand and come to terms with parents splitting up

  • To increase achievements, self-confidence and self-esteem

  • To work well as a group

  • To share the best ways of coping with family difficulties

  • To make a story that will explain how these youngsters feel so that other people will feel less alone

  • To help adults understand their stresses

  • To give lots of opportunities to develop problem solving and decision making skills

Parents
It is hard for adults to cope with their own distress and children often hide their feelings to protect their parents. This project aims to get those feelings out in the open through role-play and drama around a fictional family.

Advice from Youngsters to Parents


  • Talk to the children - tell them what is going on.

  • Tell them it is not their fault and reassure them.

  • Try not to run the other parent down in front of the children.

  • Children need time and space to come to terms with changes.

  • Don't take it out on the kids - it's hard for them too.

  • Don't argue when the kids are around.

  • Don't bring them into the argument.

  • Don't make them choose between you - they love you both.

New Partners
When parents meet new partners youngsters can find it difficult to cope. Sometimes they are welcomed but frequently they suffer from divided loyalties. This can be even more complicated if step-siblings are involved. The project aims to give youngsters an outlet for their feelings and then go on to examine positive coping strategies where they will improve their relationship with step-parents and step-siblings.

Advice from Youngsters for Step-parents


  • Agree the house rules between both parents and yourself.

  • Don't try and bribe the kids, spend time with them,

  • Talk to them and tell them how you feel.

  • Don't run down either parent to the children.

  • If there are step-children make sure that everybody is treated the same.

  • Try not to compete with the non-resident parent.

  • Let the children spend quality time with their parents alone.

Mentors
The development of the mentoring system has had a really positive benefit to the project. Youngsters who were becoming very negative about staying on at school have been re-motivated and many have chosen to train further to work with children. They provide effective role models for the younger ones, proving that learning can be fun. The mentors have had opportunities to provide workshops at conference for professionals working in Health, Social Services and Education and have shown increased self-confidence and capacity to learn.

Comments from Mentors

'My parents separated during my time with Changing Families and I learned that all people deal with divorce in different ways.'

'The project has given me the confidence to help those who need it and realise that situations are more complex than I thought.'

'Changing Families has helped me in opening my mind to a situation and made me happier knowing I can make a difference.'

'I gained skills of teamwork and empathy; I'm a better listener now and I find it easier to interact and explain myself to others.' 'The Changing Families Project has helped me as a mentor to cope with my family issues and also gave me a focus to develop my career path. At college I followed a Teaching Assistants course and I am now employed as a TA in a local Primary School in Plymouth.'

In-Service for Professionals
In-service training can be provided for groups of five or more. Details from:

Nina Wroe
Changing Families
Brownswell Farm
Ashburton
TQ13 7EZ

Email: changingfamilies@hotmail.co.uk